By Eric Adams  |  FotoFly

Last time, I walked you through the basic framework I use for a fussy newborn. Today I want to go deeper — into the specific techniques that have gotten our photographers at FotoFly referred to, more times than I can count, as "baby whisperers."

Here's the thing. The methods we use are very basic and very simple. There's nothing exotic about them. But they have to be executed the right way at the right time — and most photographers don't know all of them.

In our studio, we use five main methods to calm a newborn. Sometimes we use them one at a time. More often, we use them together, layered on top of each other. Let's walk through all five.

1. Control Your Thoughts

This is the one nobody talks about, and it's the most important one on the list.

Some way, somehow, a newborn can sense what the people around him are thinking and feeling. He senses tension. He senses agitation. He senses frustration, anxiety, contention, impatience. I've watched it happen a thousand times over 22 years of photographing newborns — when the parents are stressed, the baby is tense. When the photographer is nervous, the baby can't relax.

So before I do anything else, I work to clear the room of negativity. I reassure the parents. I tell them there's no reason to be stressed, that things will work out. And inside my own head, I do the same thing — whatever happened in my day before this session has to be gone. My thoughts need to be calm, pure, peaceful. When the room has peace in it, the newborn almost always relaxes.

If you remember nothing else, remember this: a stressed photographer cannot calm a fussy baby. Period.

2. Touching

There are four specific ways I touch a newborn to calm him. Each one does something different, and I use them in combination depending on what the baby needs.

Rubbing the forehead. I use my finger or thumb to gently, rhythmically rub the spot between his eyes. I think the proximity to his eyes instinctively encourages him to close them to protect them from whatever is touching him. Whatever the mechanism, it works. It's one of my go-to moves.

Patting the bottom. Gentle, rhythmic pats on the bum. Not hard. Not fast. A slow, steady rhythm that seems to help them forget about whatever it is that was upsetting them.

Easing the eyes closed. When a newborn is close to sleep but just can't quite get there, I gently push their eyes closed. Sometimes they need that little bit of help. Other times I'll hold them closed for a few seconds until they stay. It feels strange the first time you do it. It works.

Compressing. This is the one that surprises new photographers. I'll hold the newborn's head and his bottom and gently compress him — pushing him together from both ends. Newborns spent nine months being compressed inside the womb. When they're laying somewhere with free mobility and nothing holding them, that's the unnatural feeling. A little compression is comforting.

3. Using Noise

White noise is comforting to newborns. Everyone knows that. It's got something to do with the background hum they grew accustomed to inside the womb.

But we don't stop at a white noise machine. We actually make two specific noises ourselves — one you'd expect, and one you wouldn't.

Shushing. Long, drawn-out shhhhhhh sounds, repeated over and over. The key isn't volume alone — it's PROXIMITY. I'm always close to the baby's ear when I do it. Something about being right next to them is what makes it work. They need to sense that you're close.

Buzzing. Yes — buzzing. Long, soft buzzes. This is the one almost no one does, and I swear by it. I'll often rest the side of my head against the side of the baby's head so they can feel the vibration of the buzz. The noise plus the vibration together is a combination that calms babies down and puts them to sleep in a way that shushing alone doesn't. Try it once and you'll become a believer.

4. Covering

Many of our newborn poses leave the baby "out in the open" — laying on something, or inside of something, sometimes naked or nearly naked. That's not normal for them. For nine months they were fully surrounded. For their whole life up to that session, they've been swaddled or held or tucked into something. Being out in the open is unsettling.

So if a newborn is fussy, I'll simply cover him with a blanket. It mimics the swaddle, the womb, the security of being contained.

Here's the critical part: how you take the blanket off matters as much as putting it on. Don't tuck it around them in a way that you'll have to rip off at the last second. When the baby has calmed and fallen asleep, you want to peel that blanket back slowly, gently, in one smooth motion. If you yank it off, the newborn will startle reflexively — and you're right back where you started.

5. Pacifying

A newborn is born with the instinct to nurse. They equate sucking with goodness, and it has an immediate calming effect. That's why pacifiers exist.

I'll be honest — the pacifier is usually my last resort, for two specific reasons.

First, taking it out can upset them. Every newborn handles pacifier removal differently. With some, the best move is to quickly rip it out and get the shot before they realize it's gone (then wait one second for their lips to return to normal — I HATE "pacifier lips" in a photo). With others, the best move is to slowly ease it out so they stay asleep. You have to feel it out with each baby. Some give it up without a fight. Some really try to hold onto it.

Second, it can leave a mark. Depending on how hard the baby is sucking, the pacifier can leave an impression on their face. Let me be very clear: we DO NOT want a pacifier-shaped mark on a baby's face in the pictures. The parents will not like it. Those images will be immortalized forever, and a pacifier mark is not the thing you want immortalized. Watch for it every single time.

The Cycle of Calming

Here's a concept that will save you from panic — it's what I call the cycle of calming.

The baby is perfectly happy in mom's arms. You take him and place him into a new position for a picture. He doesn't like it. He gets upset. You use your calming techniques. He concedes to your strength and dominance and begins to calm himself. Once calm, you let go and take the picture. The moment he realizes you've let go, it unnerves him and he becomes irritated again. And the cycle repeats.

This cycle will repeat itself MANY times over the course of a session. That's not a failure — that's the normal flow of newborn photography. The mistake new photographers make is panicking the first time the baby cries and rushing to hand him back to mom. Don't do that. Crying is normal. Have faith that the cycle works. Press forward with the pose. Use your calming techniques peacefully, and almost every time, the newborn will settle down.

Don't panic when you hear crying. That's the mantra.

The Point of No Return

There IS one exception, though, and you have to learn to see it. I call it the point of no return.

Normal fussing is part of the cycle and the newborn will come out of it. But when a baby crosses into angry, face-color-changing, not-breathing-right kind of screaming — that's different. That's the point of no return. At that point, he's no longer going to respond to your calming techniques. He needs a dramatic change in conditions. That usually means handing him to mom for comfort and maybe a quick feed.

The skill is learning the difference between normal irritation (stay the course, keep calming) and the point of no return (take a break NOW). That judgment comes with experience. But knowing the two states exist is half the battle.

Your Challenge This Week

Two things. First, try the buzz. Next time you have a fussy newborn, skip the shush and buzz softly right next to their ear — even better, rest the side of your head against theirs so they feel the vibration. You'll be shocked at what it does.

Second, the next time the baby starts to fuss and your instinct is to panic — don't. Remind yourself you're in the cycle. Trust it. Use your techniques. Press forward. You'll come out the other side.

In the next newsletter, we're shifting into babies and toddlers, which is a whole different universe. Newborns work on instinct. Six-month-olds have opinions. I'll show you how I approach sessions with little ones who are awake, alert, and have about 20 good minutes in them.

Stay with me. It only gets more fun from here.

— Eric

Eric Adams is the founder of FotoFly, one of Utah's most recognized portrait studios. He has trained hundreds of photographers and is passionate about making professional photography accessible to anyone willing to put in the work.